ath1337

@ the intersection of sports and thought

Extreme (and Deadly) Segway Polo

July 1, 2008 posted by admin

The Bay Area SEG Club will play their fourth anniversary Segway Polo match in exactly 10 days, and the world could be less excited. Although they think they have created a revolutionary sport that combines the triumphs with technology and traditional sports, after reading their 10-page rule book, I can see why such a creative concept has been ignored by enthusiast everywhere.

The official rules of the SEG club polo can be found here, if you even care to read them in the first place. Basically, you hit the ball with the stick. You are not allowed to run into other players. You are not allowed to hit them with your clubs. The player closest to the ball has a right away. The list of rules that only an overprotective soccer mom would condone is endless. If the sport wants to take a leap into the public eye, then they need to start adding some flare.

Segway Polo ModificationsThere are plenty of other sports that allow full contact on wheels. Murderball, for example, condones full contact between players that are situated in a wheel chair . . . which is less protection than the Segway. Look at Rollerball, NASCAR, or any of the other sports that embrace the notion of contact and the attention of TV viewers everywhere. Although a Segway is very expensive, it can always be repaired. Therefore, if Segway Polo is ever going to make its way into popular culture as a legitimate ‘sport’, then some rules need to be changed.

First of all, every “right of way” rule needs to be eliminated from competition. If the player doesn’t want his precious Segway to be scratched, then he simply doesn’t deserve the ball. The man willing to do the most damage shall be awarded on the field of play. And to help this sport celebrate the art of violence, I have made a couple of suggestions to the Bay Area SEG Club to help them out.

The Segways should be scythed to enable players to take out other opponent. They were acceptable on Roman chariots, which were considered modern Segways at the time. Also, the presence of a shield will encourage more ramming, as well as provide strategic protection to the vehicle. Spikes are encouraged for the coolness factor.

In terms of the playing field, we suggest the implementation of two sand traps and a water hazard, or vice versa. Alligators are optional. The presence of these hazards will make movement on the field more condensed, strategic, and give an incentive for more contact to either put someone in the hazards, or to keep oneself out.

Also, although we promote all contact, there has to be a name given for the act. Just as hockey has checking and the NFL has tackling, Segway Polo will have head thumping. The rules are explained below.

Finally, all forms of celebrations are acceptable . . . except this one.

With these modifications to the rules set forth by the Bay Area SEG Club, there is no doubt that it will become a national phenonom. The problem is finding the men and women with enough guts to ride a Seg in public, and be willing to kill each other in the process. Someone sign me up.

Believe it or not, there is technology that can make you swim faster. Although it seems unlikely, it was NASA that got into the swimming industry to create suits that leave Nike and other companies in the dust. The revolutionary Speedo LZR Racer has been worn by 40 of the 44 record-setters since mid-February.

And now they’re being released for sale to the public. The product page (listed at 320 euros) describes the suit as the following:

Male LZR RACER Bodyskin

A fully bonded male performance bodysuit with an ultra low profile zip and silicone gripper at the ankle. Made from Speedo’s ultra lightweight LZR Pulse fabric, the suit’s LZR panels, core stabiliser and bonded seams all combine to reduce drag. Available in regular and longer body lengths.

This video describes the entire process of creating the suit and the benefits the swimmers have from purchasing one:

Digg Sports Analysis

June 26, 2008 posted by admin

After you guys smashed my site (thanks diggers), I figured I would take a look to learn a little more about Digg’s sports community - namely, which sports they prefer and how they stack up against general web users. It was actually surprisingly easy to do.

First, to be as comprehensive as possible, I wanted to take multiple measurements of Digg interest in each sport area (baseball, basketball, tennis, soccer and football). To accomplish this, I looked at total pages on Digg using the sports name, total number of pages with the sports name in the title, total number of submissions in each section, and finally compared that to the total number of popular stories which included that sport.

Secondly, I needed to compare this to the general web community to really determine whether Digg users were disproportionately in favor of one sport or another. To do this, I compared page numbers on Digg to searches for each keyword on a monthly basis according to KeywordDiscovery.com. This would also help us deal with some of the incidental issues (for example, the crossover use of the word Football meaning American Football and what America calls soccer).

So, what do we find? First, we look at overall sports occurrence on the site both controlled and not controlled for search volume. (For all graphs, the bars in the foreground are uncontrolled, and those in the background are controlled. All numbers have been normalized, these are not histograms.)

It appears from this first graphical analysis that Tennis has a disproportiate following on Digg. While it by no measure has the largest following, when controlled for search volume, the users on Digg are interested in tennis more than the typical web user.

When we take a look at Digg patterns by the title of pages, we find similar results for Tennis, but a trend in favor of baseball begins to be revealed as well.

We can also compare by category submissions themselves. Once again, both Baseball and Tennis are disproportionately represented on Digg when compared to search volume.

However, there is one final important step that can be taken here to determine the sports in which the general Digg population have greatest interest. By looking at the percentage of stories made popular in each category, compared to the figures we have above, we can come up with a strong number.

Clearly, the advantage for going popular lies in Baseball, more than tripling the popular ratio of any other sport. So, while there is a submission bias in favor of tennis (and perhaps it stimulates more discussion, thus more pages). Baseball, on the other hand, appears to enjoy more general support among the community, leading to popular front pages.


The grandiose mustache has been well worn and respected by man for over 2,300 years by historical accounts. The first accounts of mustaches were recorded in 300 BC by the painting of a Scythian horseman. While modern man dawns the mustache out prank or attempt to annoy his lover, in the past the mustache signified power and dignity to all those in its follicle shadow. Although it takes an above average Joe to wear the upper lip surprise and not be laughed at, in the arena of sports, any man can wear one and be well respected.

Why sports?

Simple. Man is enthralled by the very existence of sports. We work 40-hour weeks. While working these hours, we have to worry about what needs to be done around the yard, house, kids, dogs, cars, etc. Women have to worry about the same things and work the same hours, but I would like to see the woman that believes the dirty Randy Johnson ‘stache is sexy. There isn’t one.

Men have developed a close connection to their facial hair. A man crush.

We look at these upper-lip follicle marvels with envy and desire. Because in normal life, growing a mustache today is heavily frowned upon by work and women unless you are over the age of 40 or it is required in an acting gig. Because the mustache has been thrown in the ranks of mullets by today’s generation, it will not have the same appeal it did 20 years ago. But these rules don’t exist in sports.

In sports, these men are allowed to do whatever they would like to do. And some of the best, brightest, and cleanest groomed mustaches have come from professional sports. There have been many lists made of the “Top 10 Mustaches” or “The Best Mustaches”, but they are all FUBAR. I will argue that none of these creators have actually tried growing a ‘stache, had a father that’s worn one for 45 years, or could name a player based on his upper lip. These are the true best mustaches the sports world has ever seen.

Bruce Grobbelar

When you think of soccer-stache, you any man should think of Bruce Grobbelaar of Liverpool. Since his debut for the Reds in August of 1981, Grobbelaar appeared in 627 team games as keeper, most notably with the stache. As a bearer of the mustache, he is expected to withhold some form of badassness in his sport. As a goalkeep, one would think that would be hard, but it wasn’t for Bruce. For instance, in the 1984 UEFA Cup finals against Roma, it ended in 1-1 and came down to a penalty kick. Instead of concentrating on the upcoming kick, Bruce reportedly turned around and started biting the net and mimiced the action of eating spaghetti. Bruno Conti, the kicker, sent the ball flying above the crossbar. Mustache wins.

Lanny McDonald

Hockey is a brutal sport, therefore a manly sport. Players sport scars, open wounds, missing teeth, swollen digits, and all sorts of hair styles. In the recent years of hockey, we have seen mustaches shaved off the ice. Lanny McDonald arguably sported the sweetest, dirtiest mustache in the history of the NHL. McDonald’s career lasted from 1973 to 1989, when he played for the Maple Leaves, Colorado Rockies, and Calgary Flames. During the 1983 season, McDonald found himself on a race to outscore Gretzky, only to end up with 66 goals. The amazing part of this fete was that he had twice as many goals as assists that season. He also led Calgary to their first and only cup victory.

Hulk Hogan

No, wrestling is not a sport, at least not according to me. But is Hulk Hogan athletic? Other than his steel-like flexibility and manboobs, yes he is. And his mustache is one of the most notable in all of professional sports. Terry Gene Bollea (his real name) is the twelve time world champion, including the six time WCW World Heavyweight Champion and the six time WWF/E Champion as well as a World Tag Team Champion. Never has an athlete besides Tiger Woods held so many titles to his name. Although his clasification as an athlete may be questioned, the mustache undoubtably cannot.

Randall “Tex” Cobb

Randall “Tex” Cobb is renowned in the world of boxing as having one of the toughest chins of all time. Since his boxing debut in 1977, Tex has only been knocked out once, by Dee Collier in 1985. During a World Heavyweight Title fight in 1982 against Larry Holmes, Tex went 15 rounds with Larry, losing all 15 unanimously on all three score cards. The bloody mess of a fight was so intense that announcer Howard Cosell vowed that he would never call another boxing match again. When asked if he would challenge Holmes to a rematch, Tex boastfully replied that he didn’t think Larry’s hands could take it. Perhaps the mustache played some part in Tex’s ability to take a punch so well?

Dale Earnhardt

The Intimidator needs no introduction. Since his death in the final lap of the 2001 Daytona 500, the racing world has been looking for a new face to carry the image of NASCAR. And since his Winston Cup debut in 1975, this Kanapolis, NC native had carried that image with a mustache and look of fearless confidence. Earnhardt is tied with Richard Petty for the most NASCAR championships at 7, leaving a mark for modern drivers to hit. To this day, no NASCAR driver has yet to win Rookie of the Year honors and a Winston Cup Championship the following year.

Patrick Ewing

Patrick Ewing’s ’stache is without a doubt the most accomplished in NBA history. Although Larry Bird wore the stache for a short time, his heredity as a semi-ginger did not provide him with the heriditary traits needed to grow a manly one. At Georgetown, Ewing helped lead the Hoyas to an appearance at the 1982 National Championship game against North Carolina. The Hoyas had a chance to win the game, until the infamous turnover to James Worthy in the last seconds of gameplay. During his time with the Knicks (I don’t count the Supersonics and Magic seasons), Ewing was an 11 time NBA All-Star, the 1986 NBA rookie of the year, and boasts 1984 and 1992 Olympic gold medals. Maybe Patrick Ewing Jr.’s teammates need to convince him to grow a stache while he makes his mark on Georgetown as well.

Rollie Fingers

When it comes to the most notable mustaches in sports history, one would be a fool to not mention the face art on Rollie Fingers. Fingers had the mustache that a man would see in public and say to himself “damn, I’ve gotta get me one of those”. His mustache was the type that mimicked carrying a handgun on your upper lip. Although it looked very sleek and fun, it was also extremely dangerous and intimidating. The handlebar mustache originated in 1983 when then owner of the Athletics, Charles O. Finley gave him a $300 bonus to grow it. During his career, Fingers was a 7 time All-Star selection, 3 time World Series Champion, and the 1981 AL MVP and winner to the Cy Young Award. He also has his number 34 retired by the Athletics and the Brewers. This mustache is truly one for the history books.

Honorable Mention Mustaches:

Keith Hernandex

Al Hrabosky

Smokin Joe Frazier

The Eck

Don Mattingly

Terry McDermott

Randy Johnson

Mike Ditka

Goose Gossage

Graham Souness

That’s right, Tiger only had one good leg and still managed to win the US Open on Monday. That is absolutely amazing. A man could play 4 rounds of 18 holes on an injured leg and still beat America’s most elite golfers. Jordan couldn’t have done that on one leg. Muhammad Ali could not have done that. Brett Farve? I think not. Tiger is the only world renowned athlete that can compete while severely injured, and still win.

Here is the article describing the season ending surgery to be completed.

“While I am obviously disappointed to have to miss the remainder of the season, I have to do the right thing for my long-term health and look forward to returning to competitive golf when my doctors agree that my knee is sufficiently healthy,” Woods wrote on his Web site. “My doctors assure me with the proper rehabilitation and training, the knee will be strong and there will be no long-term effects.”

1. Tywon Lawson returning to play with Tyler Hansbrough.

2. Wayne Ellington will be returning to play with Tyler Hansbrough.

3. Danny Green will be returning to play with Tyler Hansbrough.

Read and weep, Dukies.

The NBA finals are beginning to wind down to the end, and I must say they have been quite boring. The Celtics have taken a 3-1 lead over the Lakers, but that is completely arbitrary. So the Celtics are going to win, good for them. We’re starting to see the NBA slide into that boredom that plagued them post-Jordan . . . the boring NBA. All we see are one men teams driving to the basket and either getting fouled or making a dunk. Lazy defense is prevalent and the “team” aspect of the sport has began to disappear. Just take a look at the age old match up:

They sure don’t make them like Larry Bird anymore.

Dirt Bike Flips and Kicks

June 12, 2008 posted by admin

A dirt bike is a fun toy to have, but who would have thought you can do more tricks than wheelies and jumping off things? This videos shows the versatility in the dirt bike, and some of the amazing tricks that you can do with it. Back flips? I mean, come on! No one can do a back flip with a dirt bike!


There is much talk with the upcoming 2008 NBA draft over which player is the best and has the most potential. Without a doubt, most teams are looking to increase their overall success by drafting players that have proven themselves in camps or in their college careers. However, one thing that has failed to be covered in any of the pre-draft discussion is the marketability of each of the top 10 prospects. Marketability is a key factor in these draft prospects, as a player that grabs the public attention can be the difference between a sold out season and empty lower levels. Take for instance man-child Greg Oden of Portland and Andrew Bogut of the Milwaukee Bucks. Although they were both great big men and overall #1 picks, the sky is limitless for Oden, who is arguably the NBA’s next big man superstar while Bogut is still trying to make a name for himself. While it is hard to determine which of the prospects will be the next Chris Paul, Dwayne Wade, or Kobe Bryant in terms of becoming the face of a franchise, I believe I have devised a rather simple approach to making an estimate.

Facebook and Youtube, yes the social networks that have captivated our lives for years have often been ignored by the scouts and media. But with the new NBA draft age limit, I argue that Facebook should take on a new role in evaluating the player’s marketability. While attending college, the players strive to make a name for them both nationally and within the university. Their successes at doing so will ultimately mean two things: lots of publicity and lots of friends. Requesting a player to be your friend on Facebook requires both time and effort (though not a lot of it). But the more friends the player has on facebook, the better received they are in the university and the public eye. A player that is beloved by both of those will bring in big money and attention to the school.

Take for instance National Player of the Year Tyler Hansbrough. Prior to the 2007-2008 season, Hansbrough had merely 331 facebook friends, 192 groups, and only 137 Youtube videos. After this remarkable season, he now boasts 609 friends, 395 groups, and 258 videos nationally. Hansbrough’s popularity might not help him transition into the NBA physically, but you had better believe his fans will divert their allegiance to the team that picks him up in the 2009 draft.

So according to these two sources, who are the top 10 most marketable players in the 2008 NBA draft? Surprisingly, it wasn’t that hard to calculate. There was a remarkable correlation between the number of Facebook friends and groups with the number of Youtube videos. More emphasis was given to Facebook groups and Youtube, since they rely on others to make the content instead of the busy athletes. Some athletes are selective in their friend requests, while some accept everyone. This was taken into account. Falling in at the bottom of the list were the two of three players that had no Facebook profiles, and merely 200 Youtube videos combined. (images courtesy of NBA Draft .net

 


10. Russell Westbrook: G UCLA

While Westbrook might be an efficient little speedster, he sure isn’t getting much national attention. Although there is potential for him to pull a Chris Paul or Tayshaun Prince and emerge from nowhere, it’s doubtful he will bring a club fame anytime soon.

Facebook Friends: None
Groups: 1
Youtube Videos: 60

 


9. DeAndre Jordan: C Texas A&M
Jordan was a close call because he has so many Facebook friends. However, his stats were lacking in exposure through user created groups and Youtube videos. If people aren’t willing to make the big man groups and post his videos, then that could give you a clue about the type of exposure he will bring to a NBA team.

Facebook Friends: 932
Groups: 9
Youtube Videos: 31

 


8. Eric Gordon: SG Indiana
Eric Gordon is a solid player with lots of exposure at a great basketball school. While he has a sweet stroke and has brought Indiana great guard play, he’s unlikely to be the next big name in sports. The investments on Gordon will bring a nice shot, but not much attention. He only has 30 videos for crying out loud!

Facebook Friends: None
Groups: 5
Youtube Videos: 113

 


7. DJ Augustin: PG Texas
It was a tough decision between numbers 6 and 7, but Augustin found himself on the latter end. While Augustin boasted great numbers and Ty Lawson-esque quickness, he still lacked a lot of the national media attention. I can foresee DJ becoming a breakout star in the coming years, but he will likely be a simple role player for the time being.

Facebook Friends: 281
Groups: 12
Videos: 80

 


6. Jerryd Bayless: G Arizona
Like his counterpart, Augustin, Bayless finds himself in a battle in what seems to be a draft all about the little guys. Playing under Herb in Arizona, Bayless was the star on a decent division one team. When the media or announcers brought up a point about Arizona, the name Bayless was usually mentioned. As ‘big man’ on campus, the students and community grew attached. He might not have the largest fan base, but with him comes the attention and fandom of Arizona. He also had the most friends in this list, which says something about his character and public image.

Facebook Friends: 1,702
Groups: 5
Youtube Videos: 60

 

5. Kevin Love: C UCLA
Love was a NPOY contender, and was the only big man in the country mentioned in the ranks of Tyler Hansbrough or Michael Beasley. However, Love finds himself in the lower tier of the top 5 players in this draft. Love made some amazing plays, proved himself as a ‘hybrid’ big man, and led UCLA to the Final Four in San Antonio (watching him play there was phenomenal). However, Love is just that, a big man. His season consisted of the regular post-up, outside shot routine. It got quite boring to watch, and all of his dunks were pretty mediocre unlike the athletic Hansbrough or Beasley dunks. It will take Love a while to lose some weight and establish himself as a predominate NBA big man, but I have no doubt he will do so in time.

Facebook Friends: 100
Groups: 11
Youtube Videos: 411

 

4. Derrick Rose: G Memphis
Rose is the type of guard that brings the flare to the game of basketball. He’s an all around versatile guard with arguably more athleticism than anyone in this draft. His Tiger fan base loves him as he will be the largest name to come out of this school since Penny Hardaway. Can you see any resemblance in their style of play? Perhaps some Air Derrick’s can come out of his future NBA career.

Facebook Friends: 1,459
Groups: 56
Youtube Videos: 423

 

3. Brook Lopez: C Standford
Although not as heralded as the other big men, there is something special about Lopez. He boasts more videos than anyone on this list because he completes spectacular plays. From a sharp shot to monsterous athletic dunks, Lopez has tons of potential in becoming a team’s next superstar. Although not high in real draft status, this man has unlimited upside in marketability. Take my word, he will be an impact player next year and will outshine most the players on this list.

Facebook Friends: 1,244
Groups: 10
Youtube Videos: 773

 

2. OJ Mayo: G USC
In all my years of college basketball, I cannot think of any player as self conceded as OJ Mayo. The kid recruited himself to play ball, then told the coach not to “worry about recruiting” because he was going to take care of it himself. Not only this, Mayo set his sites on Southern California to “increase his marketability”. Well, it worked. The high school player that was ejected to a standing ovation in his final game is finally in the national media, and not in the good way. Mayo is the player on this list that will capture the media’s attention through mishaps and Artest-like explosions.

Facebook Friends: 1,241
Groups: 59
Youtube Videos: 405

 

1. Michael Beasley: F Kansas State
Beasley was a NPOY contender from Kansas State, although I doubt he needs any introduction. From his high school days, to the recruiting process, to his one year at Kansas State, Beasley has been all over the national media. He is the type of big man that all teams drool over. Not only does his game speak, he also attracts lots of cameras and attention. Highlights galore for Beasley next year, and I would not doubt it if you see him hanging on your kid’s wall within a couple of years.

Facebook Friends: 151
Groups: 88
Youtube Videos: 582

During the 1970’s, Indy Cart would be deemed one of the most dangerous racing sports in the world. While its counterpart, NASCAR was beginning its reign of American media dominance, it was crashes like these that led to enhanced safety precautions and regulations:

The Indy Cart is a light weight vehicle that rests only inches from the surface. One small bump or malfunction can cause these machines to life from the track and become airborne. After these crashes, the carts began installing roll cages and driver seats similar to the strength and shape of jet fighter planes. Since then the number of fatal crashes has drastically decreased and it is a much safer sport . . . although you would never catch me out there.

BONUS: Name the video game that uses the song in that youtube video as its opening main menu. HINT: PS2, you fight mobsters to revenge a death, and the coolest weapon is a Molotov cocktail.