Four years I say . . . four miserable years of living the life of a student at a University known for their rugby traditions. I grew up on a southern farm in and I was taught at a young age how to act like a man and how to treat other human beings. I also grew up corn fed as a fierce football player. After spending a semester trying out for the rugby squad in college, I decided I could not take it anymore. I simply didn’t belong on the pitch, especially after what I had been through. I don’t believe in gossip, so I’ll keep this article relevant to rugby as a whole sport. Being more specific, only the American rugby squads.
To every rugby player that reads this, you know there is absolutely no denying these words. You will defend them as “tradition”, or being at one with your sexuality; but the truth is that it’s embarrassing to American sports as a whole. American rugby should not base their behavior on traditions established in Europe. On most college campuses, the sport has been around for less than 30 or 40 years. Your fake British accents and obsession with good beer and everything ‘across the pond’ do not entitle you to Euro status or their traditions. We’re freaking AMERICA, so let’s not get naked and spank each other when a gun is not being held to our heads.
For the rest of America, let me enlighten you on a little “tradition” called the Zulu warrior. I would try to describe it myself, but this rugby player has already described it in his blog:
“A zulu or “zulu warrior” is a little dance or act that you must perform at the post game drink-up (another rugby tradition), while naked. Typically, the team will starting chanting “zulu” or “hey, zulu warrior” while you disrobe and then run around like a maniac while they toss beer on you.”
And for his personal Zulu experience after his first try:
“I was hoping the guys forgot that I owed a zulu, but alas, they did not. The good news, there were a good 7 or 8 other savages already naked at the party (another common tradition, at least with the guys at my university) running around. My zulu was highlighted by my date following me around, slapping me on the ass, and yelling “woooo-whooo!!!”.”
As arousing as that life lesson seems, it is one of the lighter Zulus that I have heard of in the American rugby realm. Probably the worst is having toilet paper shoved up their butt and lit on fire. Of course, while they chant the Zulu. It was only hearsay, but based on the rugby culture, I don’t doubt that it ever happened. But I have absolutely no problem with what happens behind closed doors. If the public doesn’t see it, then it never happened. Unfortunately, one American university doesn’t think the eyes of children and spectators should be spared by their Zulu antics. Just last October, the University of Illinois (Champaign) made rugby squads across the nation proud when they forced a Zulu on a teammate directly after the game. A direct excerpt:
“Shortly after the final whistle blew with Illinois winning over University of Wisconsin, there was a bit of celebration on the far sideline. Looked away to talk John [name omitted] (coach of Catholic Memorial High School Girls who ran touch for the Men’s Semis [former USA U-19 Girls Manager]) when he pointed and said “that’s stupid.”
Turned around to see an Illinois Player running - completely naked - towards the goal line. Started over to confront the situation apparently at the same time as [MW RFU official]. Kid was actually dumb enough to sit there naked for a good half minute while we confronted the club president, and other members of the team just kept citing it as a “tradition for their club and the clubs they play after every match.”
For the sake of all things athletic, if you assumed this was the worst of rugby “traditions”, you were wrong my friend. You see, simply having to complete a Zulu means that you are on the team already. Initiation is a whole other ball game.
Every sport has a unique initiation ritual. Most of them include a beating, having to steal something, heavy drinking, or perhaps eating a live animal. The object of initiation is to create a team bonding experience, letting the newbie know that it is his or her time to endure the pain and to become one with the team. I have endured initiation in many sports, but we always kept our clothes on. One Youtube video search of “rugby initiation” yields all videos involving heavy drinking, and about ¾ involving nakedness. Here are some of the favorites:
Dudes in whitey tighties taking shots . . . there’s nothing wrong with that!
Divas bonging beer - everyone’s entitled to freedom of expression, right?
Naked dude bonging beer . . . we’re regressing here:
And here’s where I lost respect for mankind.
You see, Rugby is a great sport that requires skills, speed, agility, and strength. The New Zealand All Blacks boast some of the world’s most elite athletes and gentlemen. You will never see an All Black initiation on the internet; you will only see videos of them intimidating their opponents with the Haka. You’ll never see them running around naked, setting asswads of toilet paper on fire, or drinking themselves unconscious in the public eye. But if they do, that’s alright because it’s a European tradition. To all American rugby clubs out there, if you haven’t already, take a new direction in the establishment of traditions. We’re all athletes, Americans, and proud of our sports. Being a rugby hooligan absolutely proves nothing to the other athletes at your school and certainly looks horrible in the public eye. Many clubs have taken this approach, but unfortunately, a great number remain out there that put a black eye on the sport as a whole. With a little work and redirection, rugby could become the gentleman’s game as the players would be revered as men of class and dignity playing a sport of savages.